Friday, June 16, 2017

Are aliens invading??? I'm not really sure...that doesn't seem to be the issue here...

"Standing in the inspiring vision of my future, I boldly take every step - large and small - with courage and intent."
~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Well kids....I'm back! It's been more than 10 months since my last blog...holy shit! I promised I would do this more often, but we all know that life happens. So much has transpired. It's been very difficult making this Cali venture work, but Linz and I are doing it. It's not easy, that's for sure, but it's still proving easier than Tucson living was towards the end. Needless to say, we are doing just fine and moving forward.

So anyway, the original point of this blog was to keep my mind busy by critiquing what I love the most in the world...television and movies. I've watched plenty of both in the last 10 months, but it is so rare that I feel so strongly about a certain show or picture that I feel the need to get on here and voice my opinion. Well that time is upon us. I am not going to be kind however and if you have not seen this movie and wish to...don't read forward.

The movie we are going to discuss is a little old because, well let's face it, even us movie buffs tend to get a little behind. It was released in January of last year, and it is called "The 5th Wave." For those who don't know of it, it is yet another installment into one of my deepest alien invasion of Earth. But as much as it wanted to be great, it lacked immensely. Hollywood unfortunately never fails to disappoint as much as they pleasure.

The movie stars Chloe Grace Moretz, who also narrates throughout the film. It starts out fantastic, with that eerie vibe that only this genre can deliver on. She goes into mild detail about the first four waves of this alien invasion as the director brings them to life, but this is unfortunately very brief and as such, it is rushed. It was like 5 minutes of great sex....and then one of you suddenly falls asleep. Not exactly how you want to look at a movie going experience, but I digress.

The plot of the movie was not so much about the aliens or what they wanted, although that is briefly covered at one point towards the end of the film. It was actually about love, more directly the lead character's love for her brother who is taken by the alien race, and her attempt to rescue him from their grasp. After she accomplishes this task, the movie quickly ends. The aliens are not beat and are in fact, still in the process of invading Earth.

At the end of the movie, while I was morbidly pissed off about wasting almost 2 hours of my life, I noticed in the credits that it was based on a novel. It made sense because the storyline sounded like it came out of a poorly written book. I takes me to another film from nearly 20 years ago that also came from a poorly written book and also covered an alien invasion of Earth. That movie was called Battlefield Earth.

I remember being so incredibly excited for that movie. John Travolta playing a 7-foot tall alien who, along with his army, conquered the Earth's defenses in 9 minutes. I thought to myself, "Fuck, that is going to be an amazing sequence. Did that show up in the film? Nope. It was only briefly discussed. The whole movie was rather boring up until the end when the aliens are actually defeated and Earth regains its freedom.

But as bad as Battlefield Earth was as a movie, I liked it better than The 5th Wave. I will say that parts of the story had me intrigued, and I did enjoy Chloe Moretz's character, as well as Liev Shrieber as the military commander that played host to the alien leader, but overall...those are nearly 2 hours that I don't get back, just like with Snakes On A Plane. Don't make me hate the villain and then not allow me to watch them pay at the end. That's just plain shitty.

"I set my own course through the ocean of life."
~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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